Hope Not Fear

Running up right along side the constant stream of fear and foreboding that can come with having cancer, I’ve lately been caught up in the additional, totally panic-inducing fear and foreboding of the recession.  Problematically, I’ve also recently discovered that I’m not managing stress the way I used to.  If this spells frog-in-a-blender to you, then imagine how it feels on the inside:  I’m looking everywhere for this person who used to be Ms. Grace-Under-Pressure and all I can find is Ms. Sky Is Falling. 


When you have cancer, having hope is essential to survival.  And hope is a rare commodity these days, though yesterday it seemed to be available in more abundance than usual.  Watching Barack Obama’s inauguration as the 44th President of the U.S, I was handed a nice little reminder of what hope actually looks like.  Not just the historical significance of the swearing-in of the first African American President, nor the messages of hope that he delivered in his speech.  It wasn’t his confidence or the cadence of his words; it wasn’t the poem or the anthem or any of the other elements of the ceremony.  For me the it was the faces of the Obamas’ two young daughters, beaming their non-stop smiles out at the world, full of joy and light and not a speck of fear or foreboding anywhere near either of them. 


You can’t stage the kind of open happiness that their faces conveyed.  Maybe it was just their pride in their father and their faith that he can make the world right again.  And maybe having that kind of faith is just the other side of the hope coin. Either way, I could use some of what they’ve got right about now.




For more about hope (okay, it’s actually a totally biased op-ed piece about the legacy of George W. Bush, but it’s worth watching) check out this short TV clip:




Filed under Living with Breast Cancer

6 responses to “Hope Not Fear

  1. Kathleen T.

    When I pray before I sleep, I will ask God to give you never-ending hope. God bless.

  2. Melissa

    I came to Chatelaine.com to look for something to make for dinner…I found this blog.

    I am sitting at my desk with tears rolling down my face (and praying no one notices!), thinking about how amazingly strong (and hilarious) you are! I’m sure you hear it all the time “I can’t imagine how you do it!” – I can’t, but man, do I ever respect you. I am a full-time working with an hour commute mom of a 12 month old and 2 year old and that exhausts me. This topic hits me so close to home – this past Spring my 35 year old Aunt passed away (breast cancer was her primary cancer) and from reading your blog, I think that the two of you would have got on famously! Not a day passes that I don’t think of her, and when I think of her, I will also be thinking about you. You are an inspiration to me (especially your entry about the Cancer Card – I was VERY pregnant last Christmas and she was going thorugh chemo, so we both played the card when it was time to do dishes). If ever I am faced with such situation like yours, I hope and pray that I can handle it with the humour and honesty that you have.

    I’ve added your blog to my Favourites and plan to visit often.

  3. l.

    Kathleen thanks for your prayers – my theory is that you can never have too many prayers in your corner! Now if I can just hang onto that greased-watermelon called hope I think I’ll come through this.

    And Melissa thanks for reminding me why I’m so grateful that blogging is a dialogue — you made me laugh (way to play that cancer card!) and get teary too. I’m actually not all that strong — humour is my armour, friends and family and blog readers are my support. Underneath it all I’m just your average basket-case. All the best to you and hope you stay sane and healthy with your work/family/life juggling.


  4. Hmm, very cognitive post.
    Is this theme good unough for the Digg?

  5. Gute Arbeit hier! Gute Inhalte.

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