The Jabba Approach

lumps? what lumps?

lumps? what lumps?


I had this thought that if I gained a whole whack of weight the cancer lumps might appear smaller in relation to the fatness of my neck.

I already have a weakness for potato chips and the occasional cheeseburger. I could just go carb supernova – a strict diet of potatoes and pasta and all things battered, fried and buttered, rounded out with a daily tub of fois gras and washed down with cases of pop and kegs of beer. If I could keep it up for thirteen days (and not go into cardiac arrest)  by the time they do the CT scan the lumps will look miniscule in comparison to my five chins.  They may not even be able to find them in there.

On the other hand, it’s possible they have more scientific measurements than How big do the lumps look compared to her neck-fat? In which case I’d just be gigantic and lumpy and no closer to the goal of cancer obliteration.

Back to the drawing board.



Filed under Living with Breast Cancer

4 responses to “The Jabba Approach

  1. Jodi

    I love that you tagged this with “Jabba the Hut.” I think your idea’s a good one. I say go for it.

  2. angela

    Do it, I’ll come and help you eat potato chips and french fries….angela

  3. Sleepless in San Francisco

    You crack me up! Your wacky sense of humor may be your ultimate secret weapon against which cancer has no chance!

  4. leanne coppen

    Thanks for the encouragment! Unfortunately (or fortunately) the events of “not so funny friday” put the kibosh on my plans to funnel-feed myself rich, fatty foods. Probably just as well.

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