Apparently my pain and torment is my own doing. My chemo (capecitabine) is supposed to be taken daily for two weeks followed by a week off. Guess who forgot to take a week off? Yes, the genius with the stomach cramps over here. So, instead of two weeks on chemo I went for nearly five. This, according to the literature, is what is known as an overdose. Pretty scary.
No doubt I am proving someone’s argument about patients not being responsible enough to self-administer chemo. I myself can hardly fathom my screw-up. I wonder how much damage I’ve done & how long it will take to undo. This is my third day off chemo and the pain has barely abated.
You know that old Talking Heads song? I keep hearing it, skipping over and over in my mind; the part where he says, “And you may ask yourself: My god, what have I done?”